Thursday, October 21, 2010

Tony Curtis Was Buried With His iPhone and Seven Packets of Splenda

3rd NW Quadrant: The Approval Matrix

From New York Magazine by Jessica Pressler

Yesterday, a funeral for the actor Tony Curtis was held in Las Vegas. His widow, Jill Vandenberg, insisted her husband be buried in his favorite outfit — white shorts, his favorite white sweater, and an Armani scarf — and lovingly placed a number of items into his casket to accompany him on his journey to the afterlife.

Including, according to the Las Vegas Sun:

• His Stetson hat
• A traveling bag packed full of favorite photos and letters
• A model of his 25th-anniversary Trans Am
• Driving gloves
• Some cash
• Gold coins
• His Navy medals
• A pair of his grandson Nicholas's baby shoes
• Two of his favorite watches
• A yarmulke from a synagogue in Budapest he helped renovate
• Stones he had collected during his travels
• A DVD of clips from his favorite film
• Sunglasses
• Seven packets of Splenda
• A single Percocet tablet
• His sleeping-eye blinders
• Ashes from his dog Jack
• Paintbrushes, paints, and a sketchbook
• His "IV," which is what he called his iPhone, according to the paper

Wait, he still has his iPhone! Does that mean it is possible to call Tony Curtis, even though he is dead? Oh no, never mind. He was buried this morning, so the battery is probably already dead, as well.

No comments: